


How to mend a broken heart

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal, Cutting, Former sex slave!Levi, M/M, Master/Pet, Smut, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-10 23:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5605162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Erwin finds out his assistant's secrets, he promises him that he'll help him heal. But what happens when a death throws him into chaos?<br/>What will he do without Levi?<br/>And will he die too?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for clicking!  
> Anyway, welcome to the first chapter of my story (it was originally called Warriors of Love), an Eruri love story.  
> Yes, there is death in the later chapters.  
> Anyway, happy reading!  
> (btw this is narrated by Erwin)

I suppose that in the scheme of things, what happened wasn't really that bad.

I still remember him. His touch.

I remember his kisses.

I don't miss him, because I simply shouldn't. He was bad for me.

But I'm contradicting myself.

Up until his dying day, I made myself his best friend, his lover.

I failed.

I failed at my duty.

I am no hero, don't call me one.

I am simply a man paying respect to the fallen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin bond over coffee after an unfortunate incident in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Here we go. The plot will get better, and the smut will increase. No, there is not a lot of it in this chapter, but there will be in the next.   
> You have been warned!

It was a sunny morning.

I had gotten to the classroom early, and upon seeing the wreck the room was in, I had to clean.

He walked in on me cleaning.

He looked at me, and at my broom. He glared at the sponge in my hand. I put it on the table and looked back at him.

He spoke. "Mr. Smith, how is it that you always seem to take over my jobs?"

I smiled. "It's not your job. It's just something you were assigned to do. By me. And I am taking it over. So it's not bad, I'm simply helping you out."

My classroom assistant glared at me.

I nodded. "Yes, you may take over."

He continued to glare.

"If you want to." I added. He seemed awfully pissed this morning. Maybe his girlfriend had broken up with him, or his mother died? I shook my head to clear it. Of course his mother didn't die. She was already dead. He didn't have a partner, or at least he never mentioned it in the job interview.

"Yes, Mr. Smith. I will complete your lousy cleaning job," he said, speaking roughly. "I feel that it isn't the best you've done."

I smiled at him. "Yes, sir." I put the emphasis on the sir.

He blushed.

I had never seen him blush before. He always wore the same dead expression. But here he was, blushing. I bit my lip. he looked... cute.

Why would I think that?! I scolded myself silently.

"Uh... I better go..." he stammered.

I grabbed his wrist. "Levi."

He looked at me, his cold grey eyes burning into mine.

"I have to go," he whined. He blinked in desperation. "Please, Mr. Smith, let me go!"

I released my grip. He dashed to the hallway, leaving behind the faintest trace of smoke.

Did he smoke? I asked myself. He certainly hadn't mentioned it before, but he hadn't mentioned a lot of things.

I wondered about him a lot. Where he lived, how he lived, if he felt safe.

I guess I cared. I didn't realize it then, but I guess I felt like I had to protect him.

When the bell rang, the students streamed into the classroom, along with Levi, who lingered in the back of the classroom, looking at me.

When I completed the lesson, and the kids were reading out of their books, he came up to me, and stood on his tiptoes, whispering in my ear.

“Mr. Smith, I need to talk to you out in the hall.”

I nodded, and walked towards the door. He opened it, and we walked through.

When in the hall, he sighed. “Mr. Smith.”

“Yes, Levi?” I said.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.” He looked up at me, his eyes flicking around cautiously, as if he was afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of me?

I bit my lip. “Levi, I don’t understand. Why would you have that reaction?”

His eyes gave off an expression of shock. Finally he looked down at the ground. I followed his gaze. 

“Your shoes are dirty, Mr. Smith.” He finally spoke, his voice wavering.

“Levi.”

He looked back up at me. 

“What are you afraid of?” I suddenly asked, just having to know what made him nervous.

Levi suddenly grabbed the front of my shirt. “Mr. Smith, you have no idea.”

I bent down to his eye level. “Levi, it’s okay. After class, come out with me to sit in my car. We can talk there.”

He blinked and released me, turning away and walking down the hall. 

I was puzzled, but I walked back into the classroom. It was five minutes to the bell. 

When the bell rang, and the students streamed out, I walked out with them.

I got out to the parking lot and saw Levi sitting on the hood of my car, his knees pulled up to his chest, crying softly.

I walked over to him. “Levi?”

He looked up. His face was red, and tears were streaming down his face. “Mr. Smith.”

“You don’t have to call me that, you know.” I said softly, sitting down next to him.

He wiped his nose and rested his head on my shoulder. 

I wrapped an arm around him and hugged him.

He looked up at me. “Nobody’s ever done that before,” he paused. “At least… not when they really loved me.”

“Nobody’s ever hugged you before?” I asked cautiously.

He shook his head. 

“Oh,” I said. “Would you like to get in the car and go to Starbucks?”

He nodded, and got in the passenger seat. I followed and turned the car on. 

“I don’t have to teach for the rest of the day, you know,” I said.

“I know,” he said.

“Well, would you like to come over to my house and talk about things?”

“No.” he growled.

I rested a hand on one of his legs. “It’s okay, Levi.”

He put a hand on top of mine. I could feel the his warmth. He looked at me, directly in my eyes, and sighed. “Damn it, Erwin.”

“You’ve never called me that before.” I smiled, pulling my hand out and putting it on the steering wheel. “Let’s go.”

As we were driving, Levi suddenly put his hand on my arm. “Erwin?”

“Yes?” I said.

“I…” he muttered. “I used to be… Nobody’s ever referred to me as ‘sir’ before…”

“Used to be what?”

“Damnit, Erwin! I used to be a sex slave!” he finally yelled.

The car was silent after that.

We pulled up at Starbucks. I turned off the car. “Levi. Why have you never mentioned this before?”

Levi looked at me. “You’re not… you’re not mad at me for that?”

“Why would you think I’d be mad? No, I’m not.” I said. “Just, why?”

“I… I don’t know. It happened when I was nineteen. I met a man who said he could change my life, and he did. I signed a contract without realizing that it took my life and placed it in the hands of this man. I was used by him… he made me his pet…” He broke off, shook his head, and continued. “It wasn’t rape. I gave my consent. But Erwin, he used me! He hurt me beyond anything I’d ever experienced before. I was in his grasp for ten years. I finally escaped one night and moved here, and five years later, here I am now, teacher’s assistant to you.”

I stared at him. “Levi, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Don’t be sorry. Life moves on.” He looked at me, and I looked back. 

I pulled him into a hug. “Look, Levi, whatever I can do to make you feel better, I’ll try my best to do it.”

He grabbed my head suddenly, pressing our noses together. “Anything?”

I could feel his breath as I leaned in, kissing him gently. I knew that’s all he wanted. He needed love. And I could give it to him.

When I pulled away and looked at him, he was looking back at me. 

He smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered.

And I was tugging at his shirt, pulling him closer to me. Our lips touched again, and sparks flew through my body.

When he finally pulled away from me, he was panting. He looked at me, and smiled. “Erwin, thank you. Thank you so much.”

I smiled back at him. “You’re very welcome.”

His look suddenly changed, he looked puzzled. “How did you know that I liked you?” He said it softly, blushing.

“I didn’t. I just knew you wanted love.”

He looked down. “So you don’t like me back.”

“I love you, but-“ I began.

“There’s always a ‘but’ in that sentence,” he said.

“But I don’t want you to be hurt more than you already have,” I finished. “I don’t want to hurt you. Levi, I care about you.”

A tear slid down his cheek. “Erwin, you can help me heal,” he whispered. “I’m sure you can.”

I smiled and wiped the tear from his cheek. “I can surely try, Levi.”

He smiled. “Can we get coffee now?”

I nodded. “Sure thing.”

We got out of the car and walked into Starbucks. 

Sitting in the booth, sipping our coffee, we talked about the students in the class we shared.

12th grade. History.

Things blurred together, and we found ourselves staying until eight, and then we were in the car, driving to his apartment. His head rested on my shoulder as he slept. 

I shook him awake after I pulled into the parking space. “Levi…”

He jerked awake, eyes wide in fear. “Yes? Oh,” he said, calming down. “It’s only you.”

“Only me,” I said. 

“Yeah,” he said, smiling softly.

“You’re home,” I said. “Want me to walk you to your door?”

He shook his head. “Can I spend the night at your house?”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“Can I come over to your place?” Levi asked.

“It’s nine. You’d have to spend the night.” I said, surprised.

“That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. I don’t have a guest bedroom set up yet… I just moved in…” I was cut off by Levi pulling me into a kiss. 

When he broke away, he smiled. “I can always sleep with you…”

“Oh.” I said, starting the engine and beginning the drive to my house.

Five minutes later, we pulled into my driveway.

He hopped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. “Your house is nice,” he said.

“It is,” I said, unlocking the front door.

And we stepped into my house, Levi’s phone began to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller I.D. His face went pale. 

“Oh, shit.”

I leaned over his shoulder, looking at his phone. The caller I.D. had a heart on it, next to the word ‘master’ and an emoji of a kissy face.

“It’s him.” Levi said, his voice quivering.

I grabbed the phone, and pressed the ‘answer’ button.

“Hey, pretty boy,” said the man.

I smiled, “This is Erwin Smith,” I said. “You must have the wrong number.” And I hung up.

Levi smiled. “Thanks.” He hugged me. 

I smiled back. “Come on, let me give you the tour.”

After that, I showed him the bedroom. Levi grinned and took off his shoes. He flopped down on the bed and burrowed under the covers. 

I slipped off my shoes and joined him. He curled up on my lap, sort of like a cat. 

I nudged him. “Levi, you gotta get dressed.”

“I don’t have any clothes,” he mumbled into my lap.

“You can borrow some of mine,” I said, pulling him off me and getting up. 

He got off the bed and looked up at me. “Can I have something snuggly?”

I pulled a shirt out of my drawer and tossed it on the bed. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it at me.

I caught it, laughing, as he pulled off his pants. 

He looked at me. “Is underwear optional?”

I shrugged. “I don’t care. As long as you cover yourself somewhat.”

He smiled at tugged on my shirt, which was at least five sizes too big for him.

“It looks cute on you, Levi,” I said. 

He took off his underwear and then bent over to take off his socks.

I looked the other way. “Levi, your ass…”

“You can look,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I looked. “It’s cute,” I said, “small. I’d like to see it close up someday.”

Levi stood up and smiled at me, and handed me his clothes. I tossed them in the dirty clothes basket.

He jumped on my bed, and watched as I got undressed.

When I took off my underwear, his eyes were on my ass. I slipped on a shirt and got into the bed.

He immediately crawled on top of me, covering my face with kisses. 

“Ah, Levi, stoppit!”

I could hear him giggle as he sat up, his legs wrapping themselves around my waist.

He suddenly realized where he was, and blushed. “Erwin, I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t sit here…” he made a move to get up, which caused some friction. I grabbed him and pulled him back down.

I bit the inside of my cheek. It felt good, having Levi sit there. “Stay there…” I whimpered.

“Wow, Mr. Smith, whimpering?”

I nodded, blushing. 

Levi lifted up my shirt, his hand shaking. “I haven’t done anything remotely sexual in five years.”

“You want me?” I asked. “Or do you need preparation… you know, stretching?”

He smiled and began to grind on me, making me moan in pleasure. “No, Mr. Smith, I do not require any of this ‘stretching’ business… of course I do, you dick. What do you expect? I haven’t had a cock in my ass for five years. And anyway, you’re pretty big.”

“Please don’t stop!” I moaned, rubbing back against Levi.

Levi stopped.

I sighed. “I thought this was supposed to be romantic…?”

“Oh, but Erwin… when two people love and trust each other very much…” Levi stroked my cheek.

I sat up. “What do you want?”

“I want to get drunk with you. I want to kiss you in front of the class. I want you to help me appreciate being tied up and spanked. That’s what led me into… my little adventure…” he paused sadly, before continuing, “I used to love having my partner spank me when I was bad. I just came to resent it, being spanked day after day, by the same wretched bastard. But the strange part is, I miss him. I miss having a master…”

“You’ve done a good job, Levi. Spilling all this out to me. Let me give you a reward,” I said.

Levi smiled. “Will you… can you…”

“Yes, Levi, I’ll be your master.”

Levi scrambled up my chest. “Can we play a game, sir?”

“Your reward,” I said, dipping my head. 

He crawled off of me and ran into the bathroom. 

I got up and sat on the edge of the bed, smiling. Maybe Levi could fill the hole in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “Don’t be. Don’t be sorry. Life moves on.” quote comes from a girl I met when I was in the hospital. She was going to a different facility, and I told her I was sorry.  
> She looked down at me (I am short) and said. "Don't be sorry, live your life without regretting your past."  
> So yeah, influences.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short...
> 
> Warning! There is SOME smut in this chapter!   
> Warning! There is a mention of self-harm in this chapter!

When Levi returned from the bathroom, he had taken off the shirt and was holding the bottle of lube I kept concealed under the sink.

“How did you-!?” I squeaked.

“I know where people hide things, sir.” He bowed his head. “Can we… may we play now?”

I smiled and motioned him to come closer. “Come here, Levi…”

He walked over to me and climbed onto my lap, wrapping his legs around my back. “Yes sir?”

“If this hurts, please tell me. Say something… how about this. If you need to stop, say red. That’ll let me know that you’re in the red zone, which means I’ll quit.”

Levi nodded. “Yes sir.”

I kissed him gently. “Remember to be relaxed. That way it won’t hurt as much.”

He smiled and blinked. “Yes sir.”

I put a hand on his back. He whimpered. My hand moved lower, and his eyes grew wide. “Sir please don’t stop!!”

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, massaging him. “Levi, I noticed something…”

“You seem to be very… you know… unstable…” I paused. “Is it okay for me to do this?”

He nodded. “It’s fine.”

“Then get on your back.” 

He crawls off of me and lays on his back. For the first time, I see how many scars are on his body, across his chest and down his legs. I decided not to ask what happened, because they looked like a belt made them.

I smiled at him. “Levi, you’re so adorable.”

He giggled, and held up on of his arms, hitting me on the head. "I'm not adorable...!"

I took his hand and interlaced our fingers.

He sighed. "Actually, Erwin... can we just..."

I kissed his hand. "What do you need?"

He looked up into my eyes. I noticed there were tears in his eyes. "Levi, what's wrong?"

Levi looked down, at his chest. "I don't want to."

"Okay," I said, disappointed but glad he had told me. "Let's go to bed, 'kay?"

He nodded. "But before you do that, do you have anything I could use as a butt plug? Just for the night?"

I nodded. "I have one."

"You have a butt plug?" He cracked a smile. "Damn, Mr. Smith. Would the students approve?"

"Hah, Levi. Let me get it for you." I got up and walked to the bathroom, shuffling though my drawers until I found the only sex toy I had-- one lonely butt plug. I grabbed it and brought it to Levi, who smiled. 

"Thanks." he coated it in lube and rolled onto his hands and knees. "Can you... put it in?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Put the plug in..." he whined, bucking his hips.

I nodded and eased the tip inside him.

"Mmnnn!" Levi squealed.

I pushed it in a bit deeper, making him moan in pleasure. Finally almost all of it was in, and Levi was silent. 

He finally spoke. "Mr. Smith, let's sleep."

I picked him up, and tossed him on the bed. 

He cuddled up with my blanket and went to sleep almost instantly.

As I watched him sleep, I noticed that there was a little mark on the inside of his left arm. I wet my finger and tried to wipe it off, only to have him open one of his eyes. He was obviously asleep, but yet he said, "Don't touch that. That's a battle scar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, one lonely butt plug. 
> 
> Check out my tumblr, @theoceanshouldbepastel


	4. Chapter 4

When Levi returned from the bathroom, he had taken off the shirt and was holding the bottle of lube I kept concealed under the sink.

“How did you-!?” I squeaked.

“I know where people hide things, sir.” He bowed his head. “Can we… may we play now?”

I smiled and motioned him to come closer. “Come here, Levi…”

He walked over to me and climbed onto my lap, wrapping his legs around my back. “Yes sir?”

“If this hurts, please tell me. Say something… how about this. If you need to stop, say red. That’ll let me know that you’re in the red zone, which means I’ll quit.”

Levi nodded. “Yes sir.”

I kissed him gently. “Remember to be relaxed. That way it won’t hurt as much.”

He smiled and blinked. “Yes sir.”

I put a hand on his back. He whimpered. My hand moved lower, and his eyes grew wide. “Sir please don’t stop!!”

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, massaging him. “Levi, I noticed something…”

“You seem to be very… you know… unstable…” I paused. “Is it okay for me to do this?”

He nodded. “It’s fine.”

“Then get on your back.” 

He crawls off of me and lays on his back. For the first time, I see how many scars are on his body, across his chest and down his legs. I decided not to ask what happened, because they looked like a belt made them.

I smiled at him. “Levi, you’re so adorable.”

He giggled, and held up on of his arms, hitting me on the head. "I'm not adorable...!"

I took his hand and interlaced our fingers.

He sighed. "Actually, Erwin... can we just..."

I kissed his hand. "What do you need?"

He looked up into my eyes. I noticed there were tears in his eyes.

My eyes grew wide with horror. Who did this to someone? Who cut another open?

Suddenly he bolted awake, panting. “Erwin…!” he yelled.

I placed my hands on his shoulders. “Shhh… I’m right here…”

Levi looked up at me as tears spilled down his pale cheeks. “It’s not what it looks like Erwin.”

“Not like what looks like what?” I asked, puzzled.  
He pulled himself up into a sitting position. “Ah, Erwin… uhm…” he shook his head. “He didn’t hurt me like that. I know what you’re thinking. Everybody thinks that.”

“Thinking what?”

“It was me. I was the one who did this, Erwin.” Levi held out his arms, palms up, in front of me. I cringed in horror. Small sliced cuts ran from the wrists to the elbows, some old, some new, and one… it was still bleeding. “I’m so sorry Erwin!” Levi suddenly cried, jumping out of the bed and tugging on his shirt and pants. “I have to go…”

“Levi… why…” was all I could say before he was out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a short chapter because I have life issues
> 
> \-----
> 
> yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EREN JAGER IS A BRAT AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY

The next two days were the weekend, two days full of worry and pain. I wished Levi had left me his number, or some way to contact him. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived.

Finally, finally, Monday rolled around, and as I drove up to the school, I saw him standing there, on the sidewalk, waiting for me.   
I parked, got out of the car, and walked up to him.

“Levi.”

“Mr. Smith.” Levi said, looking at my feet.

I reached out to him and grabbed one of his hands. “Levi, I’m sorry…”

He smiled up at me, but it was empty and full of sadness. “It’s okay.”

I could smell cigarettes on his breath.

I laced our fingers together, trying to remember the bliss of Friday night before it was ruined. “Levi… I looked it up.”

“What? What did you look up?”

I bit my lip.

“Oh. That.” Levi said. “I know what you mean.”

“It’s called cutting.” I said, my voice shaking, “And it’s dangerous. You have to stop, Levi. You could die.”

“I know I could,” he said, his voice cold as ice. “It’s flirting with death. That’s why I do it. That’s why I do the numerous things that are harmful to me. I love a good game. Do I live, or do I die?”

He laughed. His laugh was empty. It frightened me.

“I love you, Levi. I don’t want to see you hurt.” I bent down, took his hands in mine, and kissed him.

Around five seconds into the kiss, a rock whizzed by my head.

I broke away, wondering what was going on.

One of my students and his sister were standing in the parking lot, gaping at us.

“EWWWW!” the boy yelled. “MR. SMITH AND LEVI ARE KISSING!”

The girl desperately tugged on the boy’s sleeve. “Erenwehavetogo!” she squeaked. “Comeon!”

I glared at them.

“GET A ROOM,” yelled the boy.

“MAYBE WE WILL,” retorted Levi, dragging me to a car I could only assume was his. He looked at me. “Are you going to get in?”

I got in. "Levi, what the-"

"Fuck. I know. We're skipping today." He jumped in the car and started the engine.

"Levi, where are we going?"

"Some deserted parking lot."

"Levi, you want sex?"

Levi glared at me. 'What do you expect!?"

"Yes."

He grabbed me by the tie and kissed me roughly, biting and sucking on my lower lip until he finally broke away.

"Fuck you, Erwin. All you want is me, isn't it. You old pervert."

"Very funny, Levi, but that's not true."

He let me go and drove off.

I didn't know it was almost the end.

You never do.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear lord my brain
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr!  
> @theoceanshouldbepastel


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick smut with a pretty sad ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the last chapter for a week or so. More at the end.

We arrived at a small apartment building some twenty minutes later.

He stopped the car and got out, I could plainly see the bulge in his pants.  
“Come on, Mr. Smith,” he whined, “I need you!”  
I smiled. “Oh, Levi, impatient much?” I got out and walked beside him as we entered the building.  
He frowned at me and unlocked the door to apartment 3B. “Come on, I need you-“  
He broke of as I scooped him up and kissed him. “Levi, okay, okay…”  
He pointed at the bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. The apartment was clean, or at least cleaner than mine.  
“I want you to fuck me-!” Levi pleaded.  
I walked into the room and tossed him on the bed. He moaned and tugged off his pants, rolling over so his ass was in the air. I could see that he had kept the plug in.  
He bucked his hips. “Master!”  
I knelt behind him and removed the plug gently. “Oh, you’re such a good boy, keeping this in,” I praised him.  
“Ah- I am?”  
“Yes, you are.”  
He grinned. “As long as Master is happy, I’m happy!”  
“Now, Levi,” i said, petting him gently, “Would you like me to fuck your tight little ass?”  
“Oh, yes! Yes, do it, please Master!”  
“Levi,” I said sternly, “What do you want me to do?”  
“Fuck me!”  
“And where?”  
“My tight little ass, sir, I want you to pound me until I break.”  
“Ah, good.” I unzipped my jeans and pulled them down, giving Levi an eyeful of what was about to be inside him.  
I coated my cock and Levi’s ass with lube, sticking two fingers inside of him and making him moan.  
“Hhnnnnnn!”  
I moved them in and out for a second, then removed them.  
“Please!” he begged.  
“Okay, Levi. Okay.”  
I thrust into him sharply, making him squeal.  
“Nnngh! Awh! Yes!”  
I began to pump harder, thrusting deeper inside every time, until I hit his weak spot.  
“Ah! Yes! Please!”  
“Please what, Levi?”  
“Fuck me harder,” he moaned.  
I did so, and less than a minute later, he clenched himself.  
“I’m gonna come!” he cried, and I released inside of him, making him spurt up his chest, staining his shirt with his own cum.  
I pulled out. “Levi, you’ve been a good boy. Come give Master a blowjob.”  
He obediently turned around and took my cock in his mouth. He smiled and looked up at me, sucking.  
“Ah… good boy. I’m gonna come!”  
He sucked harder as i released into his mouth. He pulled away, trailing saliva and cum onto his bedspread.  
“Good boy.”  
He grinned and hugged me. I pressed my mouth to his. I could feel him smiling.  
But it wouldn’t be that way for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you enjoy? I hope you did. :3  
> Anyway, I'm having some life issues (basically the same ones Levi has...) and I'm leaving for a while. Just remember you'll always be able to email me @ pengie2002@gmail.com or message me on tumblr @ theoceanshouldbepastel.
> 
> I love you all, and I wish all my readers the best.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone dies and someone lives.  
> Someone makes a reappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry-- just kidding! I love killing off people in stories.  
> Anyway, more notes at the end.

We fell asleep next to each other, Levi snuggled up against my chest, making cute snores.

When I finally drifted off to sleep, I had no idea what was about to happen.

\---

I was awoken at half past three in the afternoon, when a loud bang vibrated throughout the room.

I opened an eye, noticing that the warmth that was Levi had gone.

"Levi?" I called out. Where was he?

I guess I was still in dreamland. Levi was in the room.

I sat up, and swung my legs out of the bed- and screamed.

Levi was lying on the floor, wearing the tuxedo he had worn the day of his job interview.

Blood was seeping from him, and there was a bullet wound in his skull.

I could tell he was dead.

And then I looked next to him. Barely touching his right hand was a gun.

He had shot himself.

While I slept.

I knelt down next to him, tears leaking from my eyes and streaming down my cheeks.

"Levi, no no no no no..." I cried out in agony. "Why would you do this..."

I looked at the desk, hoping to see something- anything- there that could take my life, but instead, I saw a sheet of notebook paper.

I got up, and looked at it. It had words on it, written in Levi's handwriting.

 

_'Erwin, if you find this in time, I'm sorry. I had to. They told me to._

_Please, please don't do the same. You don't have to escape the hell I lived in._

_I'm sure you're going to miss me, and that's all right. Missing someone- well, it's only human._

_I love you, and trust you'll be okay._

_Goodbye._

_-Levi'_

 

I clutched the paper to my chest while tears streamed down my face. "Ah... Levi, why...?"

 

I never understood.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said I wouldn't post again so soon.
> 
> I lied. I'm sorry.
> 
> Now, the letter in this chapter is based off my own experience. Which is sad.  
> But I just wanted to let you guys know there is more Levi in this. Don't worry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving Wednesday for some long-term treatment center for me and my own problems. I'll miss you all.

The funeral was sparsely attended.

I sat in the back pew at the church, staring blankly ahead.

They spoke, but I couldn't hear a word.

Tears slipped from my eyes, running down my cheeks.

"Why..."

And then, something happened.

A little voice spoke in my head.

_It's your fault, Erwin,_ it said.

I jolted up.

It sounded like Levi.

It really did.

_It's your fault I'm dead. Dead and never coming back. You could have helped me._

And I screamed.

The next thing I knew, I was running out of the church and driving away from that place.

And I crashed.

Into the oak tree at the intersection of the highways.

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, both Erwin and Levi have some form of PTSD-caused schizophrenia.   
> Yeah.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Part Two of HTMABH....  
> narrated by Levi.  
> I'll be adding the tags.

It was morning, and as I lay in bed, I could hear the birds chirping.  
I remembered the incidents of the previous night, escaping him.  
But I was left with them- the voices speaking to me...  
I don't know how they began, or when they began, but they were there always.  
I closed my eyes, hoping that I wouldn't cry.  
I was strong.  
Right?  
I got up finally and poured myself some coffee, hoping they'd stop.  
  
They didn't.  
  
I didn't realize that they'd be with me for the rest of my life on Earth.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
\--- five years later ---  
  
It was the morning of my first job interview, a teacher's assistant position.  
I walked into the office early, to see a man sitting at the desk, typing on a laptop.  
"Hey. Are you Mr. Smith?"  
He looked up.   
I had to admit it, he was hot.   
My eyes widened. "Um..."  
He stood.  
I glanced down at my feet. "Sorry I'm early."  
"It's fine. You must be Levi?"  
I looked back up at his face. "Yeah."  
  
The rest of the interview consisted of him asking questions and me answering them.  
Until he asked what my fears were.  
I tugged at my hoodie sleeves, pulling them over my thumbs.  
"Nothing really, I guess death?"  
He nodded. "You're hired."  
I shifted in my seat. "Okay."  
  
\---  
  
That night, when I got home, I undressed and laid on my bed, closing my eyes. I thought about my life. I thought about what a fuck-up I was.  
  
I thought about Mr. Smith. I wondered what he looked like under the suit.  
  
I shook my head. _Levi, no,_ I told myself.  _No sexual thoughts about your boss._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, this chapter was fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and tell me how you liked it so far.


End file.
